Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Bar Phrases

"You get this one, next round is on me." - We won't be here long enough to get another round.
"I don't feel well, lets go home." (female) - You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male) - I'm horny.
"I've had like 10 beers already." - I've only had 3, but I need an excuse to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?" - I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.
"No, really, I'm OK to drive." - I'm wasted and should have someone bring me home but I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts." - I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"Excuse me." (male to male) - Get out of the way.
"Excuse me." (male to female) - I am going to grope you now.
"Excuse me." (female to male) - Don't even think about groping me, just get out of the way.
"Excuse me." (female to female) - Move your butt. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.
"That person looks really familiar." - Did I sleep with him/her?

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