"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike!
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday so we're having you put to sleep."
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
Saw something today
That reminded me of you.
As a matter of fact it was
The shit on my shoe!
Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
Well don't worry about her....
She moved in with me!
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